May 15, 2008

You get what you need...


Yesterday was my birthday, I am now 33! It was a truly wonderful, blissful, dreamy morning but by 11 o`clock the mood changed. My vision of writing at my favourite cafe was replaced with urgency, of things I needed to get done and tasks I had forgotten to complete. All afternoon, I felt the need to reflect and plan for my future; instead I spent the day running errands, feeling frazzled and a little angry. So at 8:30pm, when I found myself stuck in traffic in the back of a taxi, sweating in 33 degree Celsius heat, alone and 1.5 hours late for my birthday party, I laughed at the irony of the situation. I realized that I had received exactly what I wanted - time alone to think - it just didn´t come in the form that I had expected. I decided to not fight or try to change the situation, it was what it was and took a deep breath.

I looked around at the other stranded drivers through my opened window, sitting there in my green party dress, my makeup sliding off my face, I wondered what they were all thinking about. In the pick up truck beside me, a man joked with his son and bought him a popsicle from a street vendor. One man yelled furiously into his phone, his face red. A group of women went to the colmado (a Dominican name for a convenience store) to buy beer and drank happily in the street, leaning against the parked cars laughing loudly. I observed so many different ways to react to a shared situation.

Finally, I arrived at my party. I was greeted by applause and big hugs - it was fabulous!! I was not frazzled or angry as I had felt hours before. Being trapped in the taxi allowed me the space I needed to let go of the disappointment of not spending my day exactly as I wanted. If I would have arrived on time who knows what kind of night I would have had. If we can let go and see that sometimes we get exactly what we ask for and what we need and just let the moment be what it is, things go smoothly, even if you are trapped in a taxi! Ultimately, my birthday evening matched my birthday morning - wonderful, blissful and dreamy.

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